Tod Bolsinger

Ending Generously

As I bring this series on astonishing generosity to a close, I want to end by talking about what it takes to “end” generously.  What do we want our life legacy to be?  What values do we want to pass on to our children and grandchildren?  What stories do we want others to tell about us after we are gone?

I know that many of think we have lots of time to work out those questions.  And indeed, we all hope that as we age, we’ll mature.  (Unlike, we hope,  Shakespeare’s tragic King Lear who "became old before he became wise.")  And especially when it comes to being generous, magnanimous (a wonderful word that means “great-souled”), and benevolent.

We really think and plan that “someday” we will be generous.  We assume that as we get older, accumulate more resources, and become more “secure”, then we’ll be able to be the generous, giving, person that we aspire to be. 

Someday.  Like when I am “old”. Or when I retire.  Or when I pass on.  At the end of my life, we think, when "all is said and done," then I’ll be able to be generous.  I’ll leave money in my will to cancer research or to World Vision or my church.  I’ll fund a scholarship for a worthy, needy kid to go to school from my estate. I’ll leave my children and grandchildren the resources to live much better than I do.  Someday.   But what I have learned is that when "all is said and done," all there is is what actually was "said and done."

Some years ago I worked as a chaplain for cancer patients.  I was with a number of people when they died.  Three in one day, actually.  (A day I’ll never forget: A 26 year old man dying from AIDS, a 43 year old man leaving behind two teenage kids, a 86 year old man who was mostly all alone…)  And here is something I learned:

By and large there are few big “conversion” experiences at the end of life.  The thief on the cross may have made a big change in the last moment while hanging next to Jesus, but most of us don’t.  As one of my friends has said, “Throughout life, we remain ourselves…only more so.”

If we are estranged from loved ones in life, we’ll, by and large, carry grudges and feuds all the way to our death beds.  The stubborn agnostic, who was cynical about people going to church all his days, tends to go equally cynically into that good night.  The person who has pinched every penny will even at the end be checking his portolio on the web instead of hugging his kids.  I knew one woman who was so self-conscious about her weight and cholesterol that even while she was wasting away from cancer, she refused to eat butter.

In the same way, those who were tenderhearted, generous and thoughtful of others through life, tended to face death with a magnanimous spirit that inspired the people around them.  Sunday school teachers died while singing “Jesus loves me”.  Gracious and forgiving people went out of their way to settle accounts.  And those who told their loved ones that they loved them through out life, lavished love on others at the end of life.

Those who tended to think that they got a raw deal in life, tended to face death with resentment; but those who were lived with gratitude died with a deep sense of the amazing grace that surrounded them.

When I asked an 84-year-old pastor how he was feeling when he checked into the hospital with advanced colon cancer, he sat up in bed, looked at this then 26-year-old chaplain-intern and said to me, “Pastor, I have been married to the same woman for 60 years.  I have served the Lord for even longer.  I have lived a very good life.  If I can just get out of this bed long enough to officiate my grandson’s wedding this Saturday, then I’ll be glad to go see my Lord.”

All in all, what I learned from those facing the end of life has been my motivation for every day of my life.  How do you want to end your days?  How do you want to be remembered?  Whatever legacy that we want to leave behind requires that we start living that legacy now. We think that things will someday be different, but the truth is that you’ll go as you went.

You’ll go as you went.

Generous Hugs

One of my associate pastors is famous around our church for being the "Pastor of Hugs". Danny Meyer, restauranteur and author of Setting the Table, a book about the "transforming power of hospitality" in business, says that every customer should feel as if they had received a warm and friendly hug.

And then of course there is this....

Generosity is not just about our stuff, it's a way of life. And when we appropriately, genuinely and warmly offer ourselves to others, we reveal the warm embrace of God in the world.

The truth be told, I am awkward hugger.  But something about all of these people speaks to me about the revolutionary power of giving to others generously.

For Thanksgiving: How Gratitude Becomes Contagious Generosity

You show your gratitude through your generous offerings to your needy brothers and sisters, and really toward everyone. Meanwhile, moved by the extravagance of God in your lives, they’ll respond by praying for you in passionate intercession for whatever you need. 2 Corinthians 9:13-14, The Message

Yesterday, on Thanksgiving Eve, over 60 people from our church went down to Camp Pendleton to serve a Thanksgiving Dinner to a group of Marines with the 1 CEB.  Tomorrow, another group of 30 will head down to Baja California to serve Thanksgiving Dinner and offer help and support for Rancho Sordo Mudo, a Christian ministry serving deaf children in Mexico.  As a church we are now supporting 370 children through World Vision in our Y-Malawi Project.  And yesterday morning, a woman in our church who spent her life in Christian ministry and is now retired on a small pension came up to me and said, "Pastor Tod, you know how you've been talking about astonishing generosity?  Well, two members of the church found out that I have never been able to afford to go to Hawaii and they surprised me and told me that they are going to take me --just as a gift.  Can you imagine?  I think this astonishing generosity thing is working!" 

Praise be to the God who continues to transform us.  We respond to God's generosity by being generous to others.  Those friends pray with thanksgiving to God for us, and God's Spirit continues to transform us.  May the cycle continue...

This year, I am so thankful to be pastor of this astonishing church...

What, then, shall we do...to be Generous?

John the Baptist comes announcing that God is about to do a new thing in the world.  He tells his followers to make themselves ready for God’s coming into history: “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.” And they ask him a very important and understandable question: “What should we do?”

Ok, Prophet, if we believe you that God is coming to bring his Kingdom what should we do? If the Messiah is coming to establish his rule, what do we need to do to make ready?  Do we read Torah? Do we move to a desert commune?  Do we pick up arms and ready to resist our Roman oppressors?  What are the people of God, the truly repentant, the real believers, the Kingdom people to DO?” 

(Before I give you the answer that you already know, pause here for a bit…what would we be expecting John to say to us if we asked that question in our context?  “So, Prophet, what would you have us do?  Should we read the Bible? Go to church?  Oppose Abortion or same-sex marriage?  Vote differently? Recycle?  What are the repentant to do? “

John’s answer must have been unexpected, yes, astonishing…

"If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry…“Collect no more taxes than the government requires…Don’t extort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.”

Be generous, Be honest. Be content.  And in every case, he addressed the pockets, not the hearts.  The wallet, not the will.  A person’s stuff, not their soul.

Boy, that wouldn’t preach well today.  But look how incredibly practical, how genuinely down-to-earth is the Prophet:  If you want to get prepared for the Kingdom, loosen your grip on the things of this world.

As I have gone through this series on astonishing generosity, I have become keenly aware that the words trigger a deep longing while almost simultaneously, a firm resistance.  We truly WANT to be people of astonishing generosity, but are so hesitant to actually take the necessary steps to do what is necessary to actually become generous.

Generosity is not natural to us.  From moment when as a toddler our first declarative sentence is “Mine!” we are naturally selfish, insecure and clinging to whatever we can hang on to.  Parents have to teach their children to share their toys.  Mark Twain even said that the last thing converted in a man is his wallet.  Generosity, even run-of-the-mill (not to mention “astonishing”) generosity doesn’t come easy. 

So what, then shall we do?  Let me give you a couple of humble suggestions:

1. Hang out with truly generous people.  See if it will rub off on you.  A couple of weeks ago someone asked my wife, “What is your favorite thing to do that doesn’t cost money?”  She answered, laughing, “Drink wine with my cousin Mike!”  Mike is one of the truly generous people I know.  He almost always picks up the check, he shares things easily, even lavishly.  And if we go to his house for dinner, he always brings out one of his best bottles of wine.  Being around Mike makes me want to be more like him.
2. Practice being generous.  Tip big when you go out to dinner.  Buy every box of Girl Scout cookies some sweet little girl brings to your house and then give them away to your neighbors.  Buy a struggling young man a new suit or offer to pay the rent for someone who needs a helping hand.  And then thank them. Tell them that you are doing it for yourself and that they are doing you a favor. Then find something that you are hanging on to a little too tight and just give it to someone.  Give away all your Yugio cards, or your Reyn Spooner shirt collection, or whatever.  Empty your wallet in the offering plate just for the experience of doing so.  Write the biggest check you can ever imagine to some work of God in the world and watch how there is still food on your table.  And don’t ask for any recognition for it, because this is helping you.  Reorganize your finances so that the first tenth of every bit of income that comes in your door goes to the work of God.  I mean really tithe.  Look at it as a whole lot better deal than the rich young ruler got. 

Many of us start to get really nervous when we read stuff like this.  We start wondering whether we’ll really be okay if we truly loosen our grip on all we hang on to.  Jesus is not interested in making us poor, he just wants us to be devoted.  He just wants nothing to hinder us from following him.  And he assures us that no matter what we give away for his sake, we will receive more than we ever imagined. 

A Community of Contagious Astonishing Generosity

Because I am an avid, albeit slow, triathlete, I have had literally a dozen people send me the inspirational story of Rick and Dick Hoyt.  It is an amazing account of a bond between father and son that speaks about the power of love and mutual astonishing generosity.  (The topic of this latest series of blog posts.)

In my sermon yesterday, I shared about how our multi-generational worship services were the result of a legacy of inspirational lives and generous giving through a few specific stories.  I want also want to share some other stories that come right out of the life of our church.  For the next two weeks, our church services will be filled with story telling and it is our hope that through these stories, we’ll continue to grow together in what it means to become a “contagious community of astonishing generosity.”  But I also want to share these stories here on the blog.

• Like the elder in our church who had a homeless woman ask her what time it is and she felt the Spirit prompting her “Don’t just tell her the time, give her your watch.”  So she did. 
• Or the men who have done beautiful wood-work around the church, serving with their own two hands.  One of the men also built the shelves that hold the projectors for our big church screens.  When our worship director thanked him and told him the big difference that it would make for our contemporary service, he replied, “I don’t much care for that kind of worship service, but if it blesses others, then I’m glad to help out.”
• Or the woman in our church who for several years now has given our church staff a beautiful Christmas lunch at a nice restaurant just to thank the staff for their service. 
• Or the man who quietly tends for our flowers and plants on the church grounds.
• Or the family that has given such a high proportion of their income to the Lord’s work that the I.R.S. can’t believe that anyone could be so “astonishingly” generous. 
• Or the over forty men in our church who take turns driving one man, who two years ago became a quadriplegic through a diving accident, an hour each way to San Diego, three times a week so that when he goes for physical therapy, he doesn’t have to go alone.
• Or the couple who pledged $60,000 to a new fund that will help young adults who are willing to serve with our mission partners for two-year-long short term mission experiences.
• Or the over 250 people from our church who did an “extreme home makeover” of the home of one of our associate pastors while she was going through chemotherapy.
• Or the woman who started the “Give it Away Fund” a special account that we keep just to care for people in need.  She literally said to me, “Here is some money that I think God wants me to give away to care for others.  Would you make a fund for others to join me in it?  If you or the other pastors see a need, then, well, give this money away.”
• Or the couple that set a personal goal of giving to the Lord’s work as much money each year as the government takes in taxes. 
• Or the teenager who set up a booth during the monthly crafts fair in our downtown to earn money to send to our Malawi ministry in Africa.
• Or the women’s group that makes quilts for anyone in our church who is going through a hard time and needs to be reminded of the warmth and comfort of God.  (Members of the church tie the finishing knots on the quilt and pray for the person so that it becomes, literally, a prayer quilt, wrapping the person in the prayers of the community.)
• Or the dozens of people who will provide, cook and serve Thanksgiving meals for the Marines at Camp Pendleton.
• Or the cycling group that moved a young couple from one apartment to another because their baby was born unexpectedly on the day that they needed to be out of their apartment.

I know there are others, and indeed, some may be more astonishing than others, but maybe my posting these will lead others to post some of the ones I missed.  Mostly, what I hope is that we’ll begin to realize just how contagious generosity can be.

Costly Generosity

Tomorrow is Veterans Day and this year it will be a bit more personally significant to me, a bit more tender to the good folks at San Clemente Presbyterian Church.  Veterans Day is always an opportunity to remember the military service of those who have secured our freedom. Usually on Veterans day we ask our Veterans and active military personnel to stand.  And sure enough we have many both active Marines who are serving at Camp Pendleton and a number of Veterans from wars and conflicts past in our midst.

But on Sunday--right in the middle of a series on "astonishing generosity"--we'll be remembering in prayer and asking God's comfort for the families of two men whom we didn't know personally but were part of us.  Two members of the 1st Combat Engineers Battalion (a group that we have "adopted" to serve at Camp Pendleton) lost their lives recently in Iraq: Cpl Jose Galvin from San Antonio TX and Cpl Kyle Powell from Colorado Springs, who offered themselves in the most costly and generous service.

Our prayers are with Lt. Col. Wayne Sinclair, the commanding officer of the 1st CEB and all of the families.  And we pray with deeper gratitude, and even a bit more earnestness for our other friends and family members who remain in or will soon again be  harms way. 

I'll close by offering to us this prayer, adapted by my friend, Mark Roberts for Veterans Day. (Mark offers an excellent post of appreciation and critique of a similar prayer at our PCUSA website.  Thanks Mark.)

God of the ages,
We thank You for all who have served in the armed forces of this country.
We thank You for the freedom their sacrifice has earned and guarded for us. Help us to prize this freedom and use it well.
We ask You to bless all living veterans in a special way today, as well as the families of all veterans.
Comfort those who grieve for those who gave the last full measure of devotion.
Strengthen those who bear physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds.
Stand with those who provide care to them.
Move us to reach out to sisters and brothers who are veterans, or relatives of veterans, or who currently serve in the military.
We pray for the day when no one needs to serve in the military. Help us to live now in anticipation of that day, as people who long for peace, who pray for peace, and who seek to be peacemakers in this world.

We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Astonishing... and Wise..Generosity

You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow. (Matthew 5:38-42)

Would you give a kid a handgun just because he asked?

Would you loan a depressed friend some sleeping pills just because she wanted to borrow them?

Of course not.

But what about giving money to panhandlers that we “just know” will use it for drugs or alcohol?

And does this passage mean that I can never protect myself in a lawsuit or that I can never tell a friend that I am unable to help him move his piano to his second story bedroom? 
Does this passage mean that we are mostly just supposed to be pushovers and patsies for anyone who comes along? 

Is that what astonishing generosity is all about?  Or how do we apply Matthew 5:38-42 in the real world?

In his discussion of this passage that is behind this conversation on Astonishing Generosity, C.S. Lewis writes (In The Weight of Glory):

I think the text means exactly what it says, but with an understood reservation in favor of those obviously exceptional cases which every hearer would naturally assume to be exceptions without being told…that is insofar as the only relevant factors in the case are an injury to me by my neighbor and a desire on my part to retaliate, then I hold that Christianity commands the absolute mortification of that desire.  No quarter whatever is given to the voice within us which says, “He’s done it to me, so I’ll do the same to him.”

I think Lewis, unsurprisingly, offers us wisdom here.  This passage is not about just giving to give, it’s not about avoiding conflict or being “codependent”, it’s not about putting yourself at risk when you try to help someone or allowing someone to hurt themselves because you didn’t have enough backbone to say “no.”

It’s about answering evil with a positive act of retaliation.  It’s about confronting oppressors (which is entirely what this passage is about) with the shamefulness of their crimes by standing up to them with generosity. 

This section comes in the middle of a discussion where Jesus is giving illustrations to his disciples on what it means to be the “salt of the earth” or a “light set on a hill.”  Especially in an environment of decay and darkness. Especially by the way they treat those who would ill-treat them. 

But notice, that Jesus didn’t give a new law here.  He is giving examples, not commands.  (And, as Lewis points out, there will be exceptions that prove the rule.) He is training them in the ways of the Kingdom by pointing them to a radical, yes, astonishing way of living. 

When a person strikes you on one cheek, in a demeaning act that is more insult than injury, instead of hitting back and escalating the violence, stand up to them and make them shame themselves by striking you on the other.  If someone is suing you in court, to take your coat, then publicly demonstrate the injustice of their actions by giving them more and revealing to all that they are leaving you naked.  If someone needs something from you, give it.  Not out of compulsion or guilt, but out of freedom.  If a soldier conscripts you into service as the Roman law allowed, give extra to demonstrate the freedom and generosity of a God who does not simply react to the injustices of the world, but instead responds with acts of generosity and love. Again, the point here is not some new set of laws that you must do in every case, they are examples of the kinds of people that we are to become. 

It’s not about being a push over in the face of power; it’s about pushing back with love.

Astonishing Generosity, All-Too-Common Failure, and Authentic Community

So, I go on sabbatical and come back blogging about mission, the environment and “astonishing generosity.”  Frankly, those topics could fill all the space I would ever need. 

And then Ted Haggard, the president of the 30 million strong, National Association of Evangelicals, resigns his post at NAE and the pastorate of his 14,000 member church, after he is accused of paying for gay sex and buying methamphetamines. The pastor wrote to his congregation:

I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve been warring against it all of my adult life. For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.
Through the years, I’ve sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them. The public person I was wasn’t a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.

Frankly, these things happen so often that I am rarely surprised.  I truly do understand the depths of our brokenness as fallen people, I seek to humbly face my own temptations and I shudder at the reality that any of us, at any time can find ourselves deceiving those whom we love the most.

I read the news reports and prayed for those involved. I was genuinely touched by and respect Ted Haggard for the way he took responsibility for his sin, praised his family, charged his congregation to carry on, and even thanked God for his accuser for bringing his sin to light. (See this for another blogger's appreciation of Haggard's candor.)

And I would have left it at that.  My blog is more specifically about the church as Christian community and how we-together—are to live out the faith for the sake of the world.  I even intentionally shy away from what is “in the news” because too much is often said too quickly to be of any lasting good.  (ALso because his accuser came forward on the eve of election day to thwart Haggard's support for a Colorado election issue that would prohibit gay marriage, and since I try to stay deliberately non-political in my blog, I would have easily skipped writing on all of this.)

Then, this column got me thinking (HT: Rob Asghar).  Julie Bogart (who grew up in evangelicalism but now doesn’t consider herself one theologically and blogs here) wrote:

The evangelical church needs to be honest and admit that prayer, accountability, Bible study, preaching from the pulpit and exorcising demons does not guarantee the end of sexual addiction or sexual sin for many people. What if the church said that much? What if evangelicals admitted that breaking bad sex habits is beyond the scope of its ability and is not a promise in Scripture?
    
    Instead the church ought to advertise what it is best at: coming together to share our lives in community — to care for each other when we're sick, to pray for one another, to offer help when someone has a baby, to give food to the poor... What if someone said, "I'm struggling with sin," and the church said, "We can't promise you that you'll change, but we can offer you a place where you'll make friends and find meaningful work to do in spite of your struggles?"
    
    When people say that Haggard should have been more honest with himself, I want to say that evangelical theology is guilty for his dishonesty. The promises are lies. They make a mockery of leaders who depend on the promises and find no relief. What else does a pastor do but lie when the practices he preaches don't work for him?
    
    Christianity does not cure addiction. Christians are forgiven for sin. More importantly, Christianity is a pathway to community and caring in spite of sin. Honestly, a caring community is worth a lot in this postmodern fragmented world. Nothing to sneeze at!
    
    If evangelicals started with the humble truth, they might not have so many sick people joining up in desperation hoping to find a magical cure for what they do in secret. In fact, the church might then become that sacred space where all are welcome, where honesty is valued and where some are helped, too.

I am grateful for these harsh, but honest words.  While I believe that the power of the Holy Spirit can do amazing, even miraculous things, it is important for those of us who believe in the Spirit to continually acknowledge that those moments—amazing and miraculous—are rare.  We are and should continue humbly proclaim to be more like Paul who called himself a “wretched man” in need of rescue from this “body of death” (Romans 7), who had to learn that God’s grace is sufficient when God refuses to deliver us from whatever ailment or dis-ease, that “for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9).

Can God heal?  Yes.  Can God even heal sexual sin?  Yes.  Does God promise that healing to all this side of the new creation? No.  So, what is promised?  What can we rely on and what do we proclaim?  Forgiveness, that we are a new creation who will someday be made totally new (2 Cor 5, Revelation 21), that the presence of Jesus is with us in everything, that he will “not leave you orphaned” (John 14), that he will “never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).  And that in this world we will have trials, tribulation, and temptations.  That we will fail, falter and fall back.  And that our only hope is in the one who has rescued us from sin, is present in every circumstance and will someday be “all in all” (1 Cor 15:28, Eph 1:23). 

In the meantime, how do we create loving, authentic communities that live under the authority of the Scriptures, that genuinely and generously care for one another and offer the world the true hope of Christ, without promising, hyping or “selling” that which the Scriptures never claimed to deliver? 

While this post may seem a departure from the last few on “astonishing generosity”, I submit that “generosity” as a function of gratitude and humility are deeply connected in the Christian life.  I also believe that authenticity, especially when dealing with our own sin and need for Christ, often leads to the most lavish acts of devotion and love (Luke 7). 

In his latest book, Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, Miroslav Volf connects “giving” and “forgiving” as the two acts, par excellence for revealing the glory of God in the world.  Giving and Forgiving.  Not perfection.  Not blamelessness.  Not healing.  But giving and forgiving.  Now, that’s pretty astonishing, I’d say. 

And where I want to continue this little series next. 

Simple Faithfulness: "Astonishing?"

Ron Sider points out what the impact could be made by evangelical Christians if they did something that most of the world doesn't consider either "astonishing" or "generous" at all, but just simple faithfulness: tithe.

...in 2002, just 9 percent of Barna's narrow class of evangelicals tithed...American Christians live in the richest nation on earth and enjoy an average household income of $42,409.The World Bank reports that 1.2 billion of the world's poorest people try to survive on just one dollar a day. At least one billion people have never heard the gospel...(but) if American Christians just tithed, they would have another $143 billion available to empower the poor and spread the gospel. Studies by the United Nations suggest that just an additional $70–$80 billion a year would be enough to provide access to essential services like basic health care and education for all the poor of the earth. If they did no more than tithe, American Christians would have the private dollars to foot this entire bill and still have $60–$70 billion more to do evangelism around the world.

Okay, so maybe simple faithfulness can result in something that IS astonishing. 

Sharing Stories of Astonishing Generosity

This whole topic of "Astonishing Generosity" has stimulated a lot of story-telling in the comment sections.  Please check them out.  They are great. 

Also, after speaking some more about "Astonishing Generosity" in church this weekend, two different people left me a copy of the front page of the L.A. Times Sports section.  It told the story of a friend who gave $5 million dollars to USC so that the basketball court could be named after his friend Jim Sterkel.  Sterkel, who played for USC for two seasons in the 1950's was no basketball star.  But it was as a father, dad and friend that he excelled.  At least, enough for a friend to want to name the basketball floor after him.  A life of generosity inspiring a legacy of generosity. (Note to SCPC friends: This is my topic this coming Sunday!)

I told two stories in my sermon from my own life.  You can read the whole sermon here, but here are the stories.

When I was just starting out into ministry, one of my friends named Steve took a look at my wardrobe and without any request from me, decided that he wanted to help me out.  I was in my first ministry job and was making $518 a month.  My wardrobe consisted mostly of "501" Levis and free T-shirts that had been given out at different youth events.  But Steve knew that I often needed to go to churches or meet with people to raise money for the youth organization, so one day, he took me to downtown LA to his tailor, helped me pick out a gray two button suit and paid for both the suit and the alterations.  It was my very first suit.  No fanfare, no big deal, just a genuinely generous act from a friend who wanted to support me and my new ministry.

I think it was easy for me however, to assume that Steve’s generosity was a result of his resources.  I think at the time, I assumed that ALL generosity was a result of having a lot of stuff.  Steve was older than me, he had a corporate job and a company car and owned his own house.  Of course, he could afford to be generous and someday, I said, when I have more resources, I will be to.  Generosity is a result of abundance.  At least that was the lesson I “caught”.

Around that time however, I also traveled to the Dominican Republic to speak at a training seminar for youthworkers in evangelism.  But as excited as I was, I was also feeling a bit sad.  For the trip came over the weekend of my 22nd birthday.  And I was in a strange country, with people whom I didn’t know, who spoke a language I couldn’t understand.  I spent most of my time, when I wasn’t speaking, feeling pretty out of place. 

The night of my birthday, I was awakened at midnight by the sounds of the whole group of youth workers standing outside my door, singing a song that they had spent hours writing in honor of my birthday.  Then, in broken English they sang a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday”.  I was stunned and honored. I stood in the doorway in my boxer shorts overwhelmed and a bit embarrassed. But so incredibly touched by what I was receiving.  It was beautiful, sensitive, caring and so incredibly generous. 

As I reflect on that act of generosity it is now very apparent to me that generosity, true generosity, especially astonishing generosity, is not a matter of a huge bank account or an abundance of resources, but instead of a huge heart and an abundance of compassion.  And that was true for Steve, too.  Looking back now over 20 years of friendship later, I realize that the true gift he gave me was not that he bought me a suit, it was HOW he bought me the suit.  I never once felt patronized or demeaned because I couldn’t afford it, I didn’t feel indebted or shamed because I was on the receiving end of a generous gift, instead with great sensitivity and genuine delight, Steve and my brothers and sisters in the Dominican Republic just gave to me.

If you want to add any of your own, please do in the comments sections.  Heck, they just make me feel good and according to N.T. Wright it's world-changing stuff.

On another note.  If you'd like to receive, by email a daily (or a whenever-I-get-around-to-posting) email, you can subscribe at right.  (Thanks to Melinda's travel blog for the tip.  It was quite generous of you!)