More than Words Can Say

Another installment in my series on lessons in “hospitality” learned from a restaurant owner and applied to our work in the church. 

Beth and I threw the backpack in the back of the old pick up and piled in. Our guide, Jorge, smiled warmly and struck up an awkward conversation in broken English.  I responded with broken Spanish and for the next five hours we continued on that way.  We headed out a dirt road, through a little fishing pueblo called Ensenada Blanca, and into a desert slot canyon, where we would spend the day hiking.  We were greeted by burros with bells, tiny frogs, unexpected foliage in the trickling stream, and dramatic canyon views.  It was Beth and my 18th anniversary and it was a wonderful day.

Once Jorge figured out that I wanted to practice my Spanish, he mostly let his English go.  But that was for my benefit, not his. (As I have written before “el mundo esta mi professor.”)  We talked throughout the day in what was probably the Spanish equivalent of a 3-year-old child.  But all the while Jorge, continued to communicate warmth, laughter and friendliness.  He continued to make sure that we were safe and having a good time.  He was a perfect guide.

A very sweet moment along the way came when Jorge asked what I did for a living. When I told him that I was a pastor his eyes sparkled and his face broke into a large grin.  He tapped his heart and said that he was very pleased.  He told me that his sisters were Christians and that they read the Bible everyday.  (Then I “shared my faith” for the first time in another language.  I looked at him and said, “y usted?”)  He told me that his sisters were evangelicals, but that out of respect for his parents (he’s the oldest son) he has remained a Catholic.  But that he was growing in his faith.   

Throughout the day, there were few complicated words, but much warmth.  There was little deep communication, but genuine growing feelings.  I look back and marvel at how much Jorge was able to communicate to us in the most basic Spanish terms.  When he dropped us off back at Danzante Eco-Resort, I gladly gave him a big tip.

In Danny Meyer’s book on the “transforming hospitality” of business, Meyer uses an illustration of a light bulb with the goal to attract as many moths as possible:

“Now what if you learned that 49% of the reason moths were attracted to a bulb was for the quality of its light (brightness being the task of the bulb) and 51 percent of the attraction was to the warmth projected by the bulb (heat being connected with the feeling of the bulb).  It’s remarkable to me how many business shine brightly when it comes to acing the tasks but emanate all the warmth of a cool fluorescent light.  That explains how a flawless four-star restaurant can actually attract fewer loyal fans than a two- and three-star place with soul.  In business, I want to be overcome with moths.  Our staff must be a scintillating string of one-hundred-watt lightbulbs, whose product is the sum of 51 percent feeling and 49 percent task.”

As my staff and I have reflected on this illustration we have realized that very often we so focus the tasks (brightness) that we are oftentimes simply "blinding" people who we should be attracting with "warmth" or the feeling that we engender in people in our encounters with them. 

Now as I have used this illustration with my staff, Jorge, is the example that I offer of the perfect 51/49er.  He was an excellent guide, who knew the area, pointed out all the best things we wouldn’t have seen on our own, kept us safe, attended to us as his clients.  (49% task is still really significant and all the "warmth" in the world wouldn't have mattered if Jorge, our guide got us lost, or didn't know the area, or didn't keep us safe.)  But he also emanated a warmth of care, concern, friendliness, attention, respect and welcome—and all of that without using our native language.

When I think of what I want our church to be, especially for “foreigners” to the church—those unchurched who come across our community seeking God and not really knowing the “language” or “customs” of Christian faith—I think of a lightbulb, moths and Jorge.  And continue to ask God to make his church more and more a reflection of the light and warmth of the One who is the "bright morning star."