So, picking up on last post, what do we do with our disappointment in other Kingdom disciples?
Do we judge and condemn? No. Do we tolerate and look the other way? No.
So what do we do?
In Matthew 7:1-12, we see that a Kingdom Community lives without condemnation by learning to humbly, prayerfully confront one another.
Now it’s worth pointing out here that the whole context of this discussion is about what we do with a “neighbor”. Three times in four verses, Jesus uses the word that is translated as “neighbor”. In Jesus’ day and culture, “neighbor” meant "member of the people of God" or “fellow believer”, (and indeed, the literal Greek word here is “brother”.)
Jesus is not talking here about what we do with unbelievers who are living in ways that we object to, but fellow believers. Indeed, the emphasis of that difficult phrase about dogs and swine is saying that we Kingdom people should not be caught up in confronting unbelievers (Jesus seems to be paraphrasing a saying about the way Jews talked about "unbelieving" gentiles here.) The point is: We shouldn’t be confronting people about being holy if they are not “holy people,” that is believers, to begin with.
The first thing we learn about being a community without condemnation is to focus our confrontations on our brothers and sisters. And then when our brothers and sisters are living in ways that are harming us, disappointing us or contradicting what a follower of Jesus should be, we don’t condemn them, we don’t cut them off, we don’t just forget about it, tolerate it, let by gones be bygones or go into denial.
We talk to them.
We confront them in a manner that is worthy of the Kingdom of love and righteousness that Jesus called us into. We confront them humbly, looking to our own faults first, being wary of our own tendency to be harsh and critical, recognizing that while they may have a speck, we may have a forest of problems of our own.
Dale Bruner has pointed out that by far the greatest log that most of us carry aroind is a critical spirit, a ham-handedness and lack of tact and grace, an absence of gentleness when we confront. Let’s face it friends, no matter how good intentioned we are, if we use a meat hook to clear the speck out of a neighbor’s eye, we are going to make it worse. So, focused on humility, we also approach our neighbor prayerfully.
This passage about “asking, seeking, and knocking” (in v.10-12) is often used to talk about all prayer, but I think it is even more profound if you keep it in the context. Has someone hurt you, disappointed you? Is someone acting in a way that is harming our Kingdom community and their Kingdom witness, then pray for them and pray for the conversation you are going to have.
Pray for God to show you the log in your own eye. Pray for God also to begin to work in the life and heart of your brother or sister. Ask God to help you, seek God for wisdom, knock on the door and request that God be present in this conversation. Jesus assures us that God will give us every good thing we need.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote that genuine Christian love will speak to Christ about a brother or sister more than to a brother or sister about Christ.
Let disappointment drive you to prayer. The more we humbly and honestly acknowledge our faults and frailties, the more we need to pray for one another.
Recently I have had a few folks in our church confront me on ways that I had let them down. (It seems like God always lets me personally experience what I am studying!) Now, in every case, the person confronting me, prayed a lot for me ,and I believe that their prayers made a difference. Do I like know that I disappointed people? No. Do I enjoy having someone come to me to point out a “speck” in my eye. No. But the difference when someone comes to me in genuine humility, aware of his or her own frailties, committed to me in care and praying for me as they come makes such a difference. I find myself open to their correction, even grateful for it.
At SCPC, I know that we have a big church. I know that many people think that their voice doesn’t make a difference. I know that most people today don’t confront, but simply, silently judge and then condemn with their feet, leaving us behind. And very often I never have a chance to correct what I did wrong or grow through their prayerful confrontation.
But these friends were different. And I experienced the difference. By the time they were done speaking to me, not only was another speck removed from my eye and my vision was clearer, but I felt challenged to be more like them when I confront someone.
Which is of course what the golden rule of v. 12 is really all about: “In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.
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