Now I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance; for you felt a godly grief, so that you were not harmed in any way by us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:9-10
In the movie, A Christmas Story, Ralphie and his friends convince another boy named Flick to put his tongue on a frozen poll during a school recess. They “triple-dog dare” him to do it, and Flick, unwilling to have his fledgling manhood question, complies. And his tongue gets stuck to the poll. 
When the bell rings, Ralphie and the rest of the classmates all run back to class, leaving the tongue-attached Flick shrieking in the cold wind.
When their teacher finally figures out what happens, has the fire department rescue Flick and brings him, bandaged mouth, back to class, she solemnly declares, “I know the guilt that whoever did this must be feeling about poor Flick is punishment enough.” Ralphie’s adult voice over declares something to the effect, “Grown-ups were always saying silly things like this.” Every kid knows that punishment is worse than regret. At least while you are a kid.
I find that whenever we talk about repentance we assume that it is about one of two wrongheaded ideas. We think that it is either about “punishment” (i.e. penance) or feeling guilty. Whenever I teach on repentance, I inevitably come back to the couple of verses from 2 Corinthians 7:9-10. So many people have been taught (even inadvertently) that to “repent” means “to feel really, really lousy for what you have done.” In this way, they tend to judge their need for repentance on the amount of remorse, shame, or guilt they feel. Lots’ of shame means lots of repentance, they think.
But in this passage we see a clear distinction: there is “grief” (Greek, “metamelia”) that leads to “repentance” (Greek “metanoia”), and indeed, sometimes like a child who needs to be taught right and wrong through correction, or a person who will only find the gumption to change through remorse or grief, God uses both “penance” and “metamelia” to bring true repentance. Because, in truth, repentance is about neither penance or remorse, but something much harder: change.
And ultimately, changing our lives to become more and more a reflection of Jesus’ life is what Lent is all about.
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