Tod Bolsinger

The First Thanksgiving Proclamation

Link: HughHewitt.com.

Thanks to Hugh Hewitt for first reading on-air and then posting George Washington's First Thanksgiving Proclamation. This should be must reading today.

Hang Out For Christ's Sake

On this Thanksgiving Eve (our church celebrates Thanksgiving Eve with a cool family service, so even the "Eve" seems like a holiday), I want to bring this series on the Spiritual Discipline of Hanging Out to a close by summarizing a few observations for us to consider. 

First, you can’t hang in a hurry.

The problem with everyday life is that we spend so much of it racing to “real life.”  How many of us rarely have breakfast with our kids, or a nightly dinner together as a family, let alone a good lunch, long walk or deep, uninterrupted conversation with a friend?  Does this sound at all familiar? We begin the day after hitting the snooze on the alarm twice so that when we finally get out of bed, we are already late.  We jump in the shower, grab breakfast on the go, race to work, rapidly check our emails, (scan our favorite weblogs) and go headlong all day from one assignment to another, one meeting to another, until we race back home, returning phone calls while negotiating rush hour traffic.  Once home, we are actually not.  There are all manner of soccer practices, violin lessons, (even church events!) to which the kids need shuttling.  Then we squeeze in a meal while helping with homework, get the kids to bed, watch some TV until we doze off in the chair and stumble to bed.  And then it seems like only a minute when the alarm sounds again. Everyday life is lived in a hurry. 

What hanging out requires is slowness. It requires what my Italian cousins call “la dulce de far niente”  (the sweetness of doing nothing).  It requires “white space” (as one comment on this blog called it), “margin” (as Richard Swensen of his book of the same name calls it), or “basking” (as my wife calls it). 

As I finish up this post, I am doing so in a small condo in my favorite ski town of Mammoth Lakes, CA.  While I love the thrill of skiing, my wife is teaching me to love the way that “going skiing” in its entirety (including both the beauty of the mountains and all the hassles of snow chains, rental lines and getting the kids hands into mittens and feet into boots) gives us the time as a family to do nothing but spend time together.  While I am prone to charging into the day to rack up as much vertical feet as possible, she reminds me to “bask,” to slow down, to enjoy the time hanging out together in a beautiful place.

Second, hanging out and commuting don't mix well.

Hanging out is best done with those with whom we can hang regularly.  When we have to travel more than a few minutes to hang out with someone we won’t.  (Instead it turns into an “appointment.” ) We need to have people in our lives on whom we can “drop in” or “stop by.”  This is a lesson that I learned from hanging around a south Hollywood barrio for a few years.  For these folks, their neighborhood was everything.  For what were admittedly economic reasons (at least in part) the people who lived there went to great lengths to have as many friends and extended family members live in the same neighborhood.  They looked after each, helped each other and insured that their little neighborhood was their refuge in the middle of the mean streets of the city.  (Of course, there were lots of dark parts, like gangs, poverty and crime that were rampant in this neighborhood, but what stood out in the darkness was the strength of care they exhibited toward each other. 

This is also why neighbors and neighborhood churches are more important than ever. For ten years I worked at a large “commuter” church.  We had over 4000 members, a television ministry, a world-wide reputation and some genuinely great ministry.  I feel privileged to have been a small part of that great church. But, as church leadership, we were also proud of the fact that people drove up to an hour just to attend our services.  We often commented to each other that “we must be doing something right because people drive by ten other churches to come to our church.” 

Over the years, however, I became disenchanted with the commuter church.  The vast majority of people were only involved on Sunday mornings.  It was difficult to get people to invest any time in any activity, service or even relationship during the week.  It took literally years to find friends and build friendships.  And it was difficult to invite your neighbors to join you for church if it was a long commute every Sunday to get to worship. 

Today, I am pastor of a deliberately “local” church.  Our focus of our ministry is roughly a ten mile circle of local communities and we work very hard to be a neighborhood church.  We encourage those who live a bit further away to instead invest in and be part of a church that is conveniently close to home.  Hanging takes proximity.

Lastly, for hanging out to be a true spiritual discipline, you have to invest more than just your time.

You have to invest more and more of yourself.  I know far too many buddies (both male and female) who golf, ride bikes, take walks, go on play dates with the kids and even spend time in small groups who never get beyond small talk to the larger issues of life and faith.  I am always amazed that a marriage can fall apart and the couple’s closest friends feel as if they can’t say or do anything about it.  I know too many people who have lots of work friends that they “hang out” with at the office everyday but can’t share a health concern.  We build bridges of relationship but we never cross them to a deeper friendship, moal accountability and a genuine spiritual partnership.  Of course, doing this will take not only time, but vulnerability, not only hanging out with another person, but also hanging out with God in prayer for the sake of others in our lives.  The result of our hanging out is that we who hang become more like Christ through the hanging.  Or to put it another way, if we truly want our lives to be different, we need to hang out for Christ’s sake.

Happy Thanksgiving, Blog-world friends.  I am taking a few days off from blogging to run a Turkey Trot 10 K, eat with friends and kick off the first Sunday of Advent.  I'll write again on Monday.

A nice review of Showtime

Link: HobbsOnline.

Thanks to Bill Hobbs for a nice review of Showtime. I am more thankful for this web-thing everyday!

Halloween and Thanksgiving and why I am getting happier by the minute

Halloween is my 15th favorite holiday.  It is somewhere between Arbor Day (which has been largely forgotten and deserves a revival of interest) and Groundhog day.  Now, before you think that I have some thoroughgoing theological objection to Halloween, let me tell you that I don't think that kids dressing up as "Thomas the Tank Engine" or "Spongebob Square Pants" is satanic.  Stupid, if they are over six, but not satanic.

Why I don't like Halloween is the combination of the pressure on getting or making costumes (I don't like costumes) and the crass consumerism of so many of the kids.  Every year, I help pass out candy on a certain street in San Clemente that is known for being a good "Halloween street."  Literally, we give out 1000 pieces of candy in a three hour sugar binge.  Parents bus the kids in by the mini-van full and the streets are lined with pillow-case wielding Freddy Kruegers (a costume that I do object to) waiting to simply load up on more loot.

What is interesting is that the candy itself is almost beside the point.  These are not kids who never get treats.  These are kids who LIVE on junk food and can get to store anytime they want for more and more candy.  The point is about just getting the most stuff one can.  It's a hoard mentality.  And there is so little gratitude.  (Oh most kids squeek out an over-the-shoulder "thanks" as they run to the next house, but you get what I mean.)

Which brings me to why I am getting happier by the minute...Thanksgiving is here. I love Thanksgiving.  I love the food, I love running in the Dana Point Turkey Trot 10K but mostly I love our church's Thanksgiving Eve Service. Because that service is filled with grandparents and parents and bunches of kids who are all gathered together to do nothing but give thanks.

We pass the microphone around and we let people say what they are thankful for.  In a church like ours that sometimes feels big and bustling, this service is downright homey.  And you know who offers the most thanks?  You know who expresses the most genuine gratitude?  The kids. 

As a matter of fact, we now have a rule that at least three adults have to share what they are thankful for before I will let a kid do so.  Because once one kids speaks, they all race to express thanks.

It's pretty wonderful.  And it makes me even want to give them candy.

Friends writing about friends...

I am one of those people who tend to think of favorite writers as "friends."  On rare occasion (like the time Henri Nouwen bought Mark Roberts and me pizza and beer) I get to meet these literary friends.  Mostly, I don't. Many have been long dead.  But the very point of having literary friends is that the impact of their thoughts and their lives linger long. 

C. S. Lewis is certainly, in those terms, a friend to many.  One of my "real" friends, Craig Williams, spent a summer studying Lewis while on sabbatical.  He even read original manuscripts in Lewis' own hand.  Today, let me encourage you to check out Craig's series on "Lewis and Post-modernism" for a delightful and thought provoking introduction to TWO of my friends, Craig and Clive.

Great Discussion on Biblical Partnership

I will pick up the final segments of the "Spiritual Discipline of Hanging Out" in a couple of days including some other lessons learned on hanging out from my own hanging around a latino neighborhood for a few years. 

In the meantime let me give you a couple of days of good reading links. 

Mark D. Roberts has a great discussion available on his site about biblical partnership, especially as it relates to men and women sharing equal in ministry leadership.  If you want a thoroughly biblical understanding of men and women in church leadership together please spend some time reading along with Mark. You can also join in. 

A couple more suggestions tomorrow, a few thoughts for Thanksgiving and then I'll finish up my series. After worship today, I am heading for the hills for a quick family ski trip. 

HobbsOnline

Thanks to Bill Hobbs
Link: HobbsOnline for the kindly review of It Takes a Church and the recommendation for Showtime. Please check out Bill's site. He's a thoughtful guy who also rides a cool Trek Bike.

Hanging with Henri in the Barrio

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen

Any of my old friends who have sat through my teaching have undoubtedly heard me cite Father Henri Nouwen numerous times.  For about ten years, he was my "literary spiritual director."  I read virtually every book that he wrote and he greatly influenced my spiritual life and my vocation as a pastor.  Long before I understood that Christian community is the center of Christian spirituality, I experienced and became convinced that "presence ministry" is the heart of all ministry.  That is that all ministry is meant to replicate and reflect the ministry of the God who "became a human and hung out with us." (John 1:14, my loose translation.)

For this life and ministry transforming lesson, Henri Nouwen was the lecturer, and a latino barrio in south Hollywood, CA was the lab class filled with experts. 

In the late 1980's I was part of a great group of people who started a residence discipleship program in a poor, latino neighborhood 3 geographic miles (and cultural and economic light years) away from the mostly anglo, middle and upper class First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood.  As the College Director of FPCH, my charge was to create a internship for collegians and graduates who wanted to live in Christian community, grow in faith, and minister in this neighborhood.  That ministry became the City Dwellers ministry of Hollywood Urban Project.  And every year since then a small group of young adults have moved into the neighborhood and offered themselves by their very presence as ministers and friends.

It's the "by their very presence" part that we had to learn the hard way early on.  We started with big hopes and dreams for PROGRAMS--strong, solid, consistent, organized, well-funded programs.  We ended up realizing that programs are always remedial steps on the way to true ministry that is PRESENCE.

Think about that for a moment.  When does a church need small groups?  When they DON'T have strong informal networks of Christian relationships.  When does a church need to start the Stephen Ministries program?  When it DOESN'T have mature, caring Christians who are making themselves available to stand alongside people in their times of pain?  When does a church need a strong Sunday School program?  When Christian parents AREN'T equipped or mature enough in faith to teach their own children the faith?

Now, in saying that programs are remedial, I am not criticizing them (indeed, at my church we have all of the above mentioned programs and more!).  What I am saying is that we use programs to move into areas where the Christian community hasn't developed the "natural" ability to care for each other through their faithful, stable, committed Christian presence.  (And in some ways when the church body as a community learns to be a genuine community that is present to each other in all ways that build and embody faith, some of our programs will go by the wayside.)

For all the trials, foibles and brokenness that was evident in the barrio neighborhood, this "presence ministry" was a profound strength.  These families new how to be present, to be with each other in good times and (a lot of) bad. They knew how to "hang."

Through the writings of Henri Nouwen (whose book Gracias! I link to at right) my eyes were opened to the reality that I experienced.  I don't want a program as much as a presence.  I don't want to go on a Men's Retreat as much as I want and need real friendship with men.  I don't need a "spiritual direction program" as much as I need a genuine, wise Christian friend who is willing to hang out with me and let me hang out with him.

(It's worth saying that, I never actually lived in the neighborhood.  My call was to be on the church side of things pastoring the team members and continually calling the church to join in this presence ministry.  My wife Beth and a number of those who are now my colleagues in ministry wer part the early teams.   But a bunch of my friends like Nancy Walker-Litteken and Jay and Julie Sanders truly embodied this presence ministry.  I just learned how to talk and write about it so that middle and upper class Christians could better learn the lessons from our latino brothers and sisters.  Which is where I will pick up in the next post.)

Bisy Backson disease

In chapter 5 of the simple classic The Tao of Pooh, Rabbit is in the middle of one of his "busy days" and feeling more "captainish" all the time.  This is for a Rabbit a very good day.  A day in which he has important things to attend to, which led him to "feeling more important every minute."  In the middle of all this important, busy rushing around, he came to Christopher Robin's house where there was posted a notice.

Gon out
Backson
Bisy
Backson.
      C. R.

And at that moment, Rabbit felt as if "his morning had gotten spoilt."  Because Rabbit felt very important when he was rushing around until he ran into a note that told him that Christopher Robin was even busier than he was.  (Let me translate Christopher Robin's note for those of you who can't read elementary school writing "Gone Out. Back Soon. Busy.  Back Soon.")

And that ruined Rabbit's day. 

As I have mused the past few days on the Spiritual Discipline of hanging out, I have been preparing to gently tread on the most sacred ground for most of us: our busyness.   Bottom line: we don't hang out with each other--even though we want it, even though we need it, even though it's the best way to live and ultimately most satisfying, even though it is exactly what God did with us and what we are going to be celebrating this coming advent ("God became human and hung out with us." John 1:14 my translation)--because we are too busy and we like it that way. 

When we are busy we feel important.  Some of us are never happier than the exact moment when we are rushing down the freeway with our cell phones in our ears, rushing from one appointment, talking to one client while late for another appointment, and the call-waiting buzzes in with another call from your kids.

Because in our heart of hearts we believe that a full calendar is a full life.

Friends, this is the lie of our age and it is eroding our souls. So many of the friends that I hang out with have "Bisy Backson" disease. (Oh heck, I have it too.) Our busyness and how it makes us feel important is keeping us from what really is important. (Like time to pray, to develop friendships where we can talk about our souls, time to serve others and time grow in faith by eating pie.)   

John Ortberg has written about asking a wise man the question, "What must I do to remain spiritually healthy?"  The man answered, "Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your lives."

This is a lesson that is at the heart of the spiritual discipline of hanging out. Interestingly enough my first teachers of this lesson were a Catholic priest and a latino barrio.  But more on that tomorrow.

A chance to do something right...

Please take a moment and read this letter from my friend John Wierick. Download john_wiericks_letter_on_behalf_of_the_shepards.doc