When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen
Any of my old friends who have sat through my teaching have undoubtedly heard me cite Father Henri Nouwen numerous times. For about ten years, he was my "literary spiritual director." I read virtually every book that he wrote and he greatly influenced my spiritual life and my vocation as a pastor. Long before I understood that Christian community is the center of Christian spirituality, I experienced and became convinced that "presence ministry" is the heart of all ministry. That is that all ministry is meant to replicate and reflect the ministry of the God who "became a human and hung out with us." (John 1:14, my loose translation.)
For this life and ministry transforming lesson, Henri Nouwen was the lecturer, and a latino barrio in south Hollywood, CA was the lab class filled with experts.
In the late 1980's I was part of a great group of people who started a residence discipleship program in a poor, latino neighborhood 3 geographic miles (and cultural and economic light years) away from the mostly anglo, middle and upper class First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood. As the College Director of FPCH, my charge was to create a internship for collegians and graduates who wanted to live in Christian community, grow in faith, and minister in this neighborhood. That ministry became the City Dwellers ministry of Hollywood Urban Project. And every year since then a small group of young adults have moved into the neighborhood and offered themselves by their very presence as ministers and friends.
It's the "by their very presence" part that we had to learn the hard way early on. We started with big hopes and dreams for PROGRAMS--strong, solid, consistent, organized, well-funded programs. We ended up realizing that programs are always remedial steps on the way to true ministry that is PRESENCE.
Think about that for a moment. When does a church need small groups? When they DON'T have strong informal networks of Christian relationships. When does a church need to start the Stephen Ministries program? When it DOESN'T have mature, caring Christians who are making themselves available to stand alongside people in their times of pain? When does a church need a strong Sunday School program? When Christian parents AREN'T equipped or mature enough in faith to teach their own children the faith?
Now, in saying that programs are remedial, I am not criticizing them (indeed, at my church we have all of the above mentioned programs and more!). What I am saying is that we use programs to move into areas where the Christian community hasn't developed the "natural" ability to care for each other through their faithful, stable, committed Christian presence. (And in some ways when the church body as a community learns to be a genuine community that is present to each other in all ways that build and embody faith, some of our programs will go by the wayside.)
For all the trials, foibles and brokenness that was evident in the barrio neighborhood, this "presence ministry" was a profound strength. These families new how to be present, to be with each other in good times and (a lot of) bad. They knew how to "hang."
Through the writings of Henri Nouwen (whose book Gracias! I link to at right) my eyes were opened to the reality that I experienced. I don't want a program as much as a presence. I don't want to go on a Men's Retreat as much as I want and need real friendship with men. I don't need a "spiritual direction program" as much as I need a genuine, wise Christian friend who is willing to hang out with me and let me hang out with him.
(It's worth saying that, I never actually lived in the neighborhood. My call was to be on the church side of things pastoring the team members and continually calling the church to join in this presence ministry. My wife Beth and a number of those who are now my colleagues in ministry wer part the early teams. But a bunch of my friends like Nancy Walker-Litteken and Jay and Julie Sanders truly embodied this presence ministry. I just learned how to talk and write about it so that middle and upper class Christians could better learn the lessons from our latino brothers and sisters. Which is where I will pick up in the next post.)
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