I once interviewed for an associate pastor job with a senior pastor who told me that he and the church leadership were right in the middle of a conversation about his future as the pastor. He mentioned that he had been at the church for ten years and that it seemed like a good time to discern whether God wanted him to stay there or to move on. It was evident to me that the church had flourished under his leadership. What had been a struggling, hurting congregation was now a vibrant, caring community. He noted that his pastoral gifts were perfectly suited for a “turn around” church and that he wondered if they needed a different kind of pastor now. Then he said to me, “So the church leadership and I are trying to discern whether I should keep being the pastor here.” Then he turned and looked at a lay leader who was there and said, “Do you think I said all that right?” She nodded.
I must tell you that at first this discussion freaked me out. I figured that something had to be wrong. Pastors never talk to church leadership about leaving unless they are getting the boot. Or do they?
It turns out that this pastor had developed such a good, trusting relationship with the church leaders that they could have continual honest conversations about both the church’s needs and his calling. It's probably no surprise that this pastor eventually stayed at that church until the end of his life.
Could this be a model for how a healthy community offers both stability and sensitivity to God’s leading?
In this series about "staying put", we are looking at some of the issues around building Christian communities where people stay "deeply rooted". But, if God blesses "staying put" (as Desert Father Abba Anthony implies--see post below) when do we leave a place and how should we do it. Let me suggest three ideas and see if you have any others:
1) Remember that the key point in leaving, according to Anthony, is that we shouldn’t “easily leave it.” Don’t uproot until you have long been rooted in. Most of us look for any excuse to move on or move away when the Spirit tends to work most significantly when we move in. We may have to move on some time, but it should never be “easy.”
2) In the same way that pastors are “called to” a church, they should only leave when “called away.” And I envision that that calling should include not just people from the new church, but also to an even more significant degree from the church that he or she is currently serving. In other words, for a pastor to move on there should be some process and discussion with the “sending” church, not just the new “calling” church. In the same way that we have Pastor Search Committees, why shouldn’t we have Pastor SENDING committees, who work with the pastor to discern when God may be calling him or her away? I also think that small groups in the life of a church could operate similarly for church members.
3) Perhaps the overriding principle for all of us needs to be grounded in the steps for conflict resolution and confrontation of sin found in the New Testament. Since most of us tend to move on after we have been bruised by a sister or brother (or a church full of bruisers), we need to be better at conflict resolution. So, if you find yourself leaning toward leaving a community in disappointment, only leave somewhere AFTER we have finished all the prescriptions of Matthew 18:15-20 (I’ll let you look them up.)
Recently at a church lunch for our seniors fellowship, I was asked in a Q & A time what is the hardest part of ministry. My answer was: The hardest part of ministry is that people assume that I know when I have failed them. Very often I only find out after the fact that I have let people down, even to the point where they want to leave the church, without them ever telling me what I had done. I told these folks that I since I am committed to them for the long haul, I need both more patience and more confrontation. The only way we are going to keep going deeper with each other is if we keep the conversation going...bluntly and lovingly.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you my favorite story of how God blessed a whole community of people because one lay leader was called to stay put…and the surprise blessing that came to her 15 years later.
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